Click here to register for the first-ever NoCOUG hike APRIL 1, 2016: The board members of NoCOUG met in closed session to discuss the continuing decline in memberships and conference attendance. “This is like global warming, only worse; much, much worse,” moaned the Journal editor who has a reputation for melodrama. “Save the melodrama for the NoCOUG Journal” replied the conference director. “I have created an awesome agenda for the next conference on Friday, May 13 at PayPal Town Hall in San Jose which will set a new record in conference attendance. Kevin Closson will be parachuting in from Oregon to deliver the keynote; he understands storage better than anybody else in the world. Advancements in solid-state storage have led many Oracle Database professionals to believe that storage bottlenecks are a thing of the past. But is that really the case? Solid-state storage only mitigates seek time and rotational delay suffered by random I/O on mechanical storage. Kevin will discuss how little else has changed in this seek-free, solid-state world and why that which hasn’t changed is of utmost importance to performance-minded Oracle Database professionals. “An awesome keynote doth not an awesome conference make,” quoth the Journal editor even more melodramatically. “Even if it is by Kevin Closson who understands storage better than anybody else in the world.” “But wait; there’s more,” said the conference director. “We will have presentations on the Oracle FS1 engineered storage appliance and the EMC DSSD D5 rack-scale flash appliance. We will also have a Not Only SQL track with presentations on MongoDB, Cassandra, and Couchbase.” “Enough with the April Fools jokes” growled the Journal editor to whom any mention of NoSQL is like a red flag to a bull. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: SQL may be an acronym for Slow Query Language but I can’t learn new tricks at my age. I have a much better idea.” “You’re always blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air,” said the conference director derisively. “They fly so high, nearly reach the sky; then like your dreams they fade and die. Fortune’s always hiding; you’ve looked everywhere. You’re forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air.” “Why do members come to conferences?” asked the Journal editor. “Sometimes they want to go where everybody knows their name. And they’re always glad they came. They wanna go where they can see troubles are all the same. They wanna go where everybody knows their name.” “And do you know what the real problem is? Not everybody knows my name! But I have just the solution. We need to bring people together in a family-friendly, kid-friendly, pet-friendly social setting and get them talking to each other. Let’s change our name to the Northern California Outdoors Users Group and go hiking in the beautiful mountains and beautiful forests of the beautiful San Francisco bay area. The best part of my wonderful idea is that we will still be known as ‘NoCOUG’ to infinity and beyond.” An animated discussion ensued. The NoCOUG board approved the name change on an experimental basis. The first-ever NoCOUG hike will be to Mission Peak on Saturday, April 16. Bring your friends, family, and dog. Click on the above picture to see a 360-degree panorama of the gorgeous views from the top of Mission Peak. Park in the new parking structure at Ohlone College ( map ) and assemble at the trail head at 8:00 AM. Register yourself and your guests in advance to receive complimentary NoCOUG baseball caps (while supplies last). NoCOUG membership is not required for participation in this activity. No fee is required for participation in this activity. P.S. Happy April Fools’ Day! The NoCOUG name change suggestion is not serious but we’re serious about making NoCOUG a more social place. We hope that you can join us for the first ever NoCOUG hike. Please register yourself and your guests. Please review and accept the release of liability below before participating. NoCOUG membership is not required to participate in this activity. Registered participants will receive a free baseball cap with the NoCOUG logo. Click here to register for the first-ever NoCOUG hike RELEASE OF LIABILITY—IMPORTANT LEGAL STUFF FOR YOUR REVIEW AND ACCEPTANCE: By participating in this activity, you accept the following: You acknowledge that the organizers have received no consideration in exchange for your participation in this activity. You acknowledge that you are engaging in an activity that involves risks of serious injury to you, your pets, your guests, their pets, and to others, including permanent disability and death as well as risks of economic loss and property damage. You understand that these risks may be increased through your own actions or through the negligent actions or inaction of others. If you bring pets, minors, and/or guests, you agree that you are solely responsible for their actions, safety, and any economic loss and property damage caused by them. You acknowledge that the organizers are not activity guides and that they have no training or qualifications as activity guides. You agree to abide by the rules of the place where the activity is held. You release and discharge the organizers from any and all claims that you may have for injuries, death, economic loss, and/or property damage, arising in whole or in part out of this activity or information contained herein, even if caused in whole or in part by the negligence of the organizers. California Civil Code section 1542 states: “A general release does not extend to claims which the creditor does not know or suspect to exist in his or her favor at the time of executing the release, which if known by him or her must have materially affected his or her settlement with the debtor.” You specifically waive the terms of that section. If you are allowing minors or guests to participate in this activity, you agree on their behalf to the terms of this release. You agree that if, notwithstanding this release, you, the minors you bring along, your guests, or anyone on your or their behalf, makes a claim against the organizers, you will indemnify the organizers and hold them harmless against all losses, damages, expenses, or costs without limitation, including attorney fees, arising out of that claim. You agree that if you, any minors you bring along, or your guests use the information provided by the organizers, you assume all risks of injury, death, economic loss, and property damage without limitation and release the organizers from all liability that may result. You agree that it is up to you to decide whether it is appropriate for you, the minors you bring along, your pets, your guests, and their pets to participate in this activity. You acknowledge that the organizers are not responsible for your safety and actions or for the safety and actions of any minors you bring along, your pets, your guests, and their pets during this activity. By registering and/or participating in this activity, you agree to be bound by the aforementioned terms and conditions.
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